Tool time is a blog post that talks about one of the tools I use in therapy. They are strategies for coping, insight or change. I get so excited about the idea that psychology strategies and tools become widely known so everyone feels more equipped to deal with life’s ups and downs. Tool Time is an invitation to know these ‘therapy secrets’ without having to ever step foot in a therapist’s office. You’re welcome.
I learned this one from CBT for Anxiety training that I completed through the Beck Institute. I love it. Super simple and helpful.
What is it: The Finger Trap Metaphor
Why use it:
- It’s a quick short cut to think about if you’re making your stress, anxiety, distress or sadness worse by fighting it, avoiding it or suppressing it.
- Heaven knows that we all learn unhelpful messages about emotion growing up (“stop crying”, “talk to me when you’re calm”, “it’s unprofessional to show that emotion at work”, “emotion is weakness”).
- We also know for a fact that avoidance, suppression and denial of our emotions and thoughts just makes them worse. For example: I DARE you not to think about a pink elephant right now. DOOOOON’T do it. STOP. DO NOT picture a pink elephant.
- This simple image can help you check in to see if you are allowing your experience to just be to minimize its impact on your wellbeing.
When to use it:
- When you notice an emotion that’s lingering.
- When you have a thought or image that pops into mind that is distressing.
- If you tend to worry and want to push worry into the background of your mind.
How:
If you’ve never seen one, a finger trap is the contraption pictured above. If you stick your fingers in and try to yank them out the trap just gets tighter and it makes it harder to remove your fingers. If you relax and let your fingers settle, the trap becomes loose and you can easily remove your fingers.
To use this as a strategy try to bring this image to mind. Think about if you are fighting or resisting a feeling or thought. Imagine letting go of the fight and just allowing the experience to be as it is, refocus your attention on what you are doing right now. Every time the thought or feeling draws you back in, just notice it’s there and refocus.
Here are some more thoughts and tips:
- If you’re struggling, try to give yourself a message such as “it’s okay that you’re there, but I am not going to give you my attention right now.”
- No thought, image or feeling is dangerous to have. It’s our behaviours that make them dangerous.
- No thought, feeling or image has remained forever if you allow it to just be in the background, it’s our focus on it and attention that keeps it around.
